You used to tell me how you didn’t like the way I lacked a sense of intimacy,
How I wouldn’t hold you the way you wanted to be held,
The way she held you,
I wouldn’t kiss you much in public,
So you didn’t give me a chance to get away,
You would hold me tighter and my escape was found within the lock of our mouths,
I liked it,
But I always wondered what normal really is,
Were you like this with her or was she normal,
Do you crave the touch of women who lack the intimacy you desire, or do you simply like playing our little game,
As of late I’ve tried to touch you more, say words which feel like rosebuds,
So sweet and elegantly delicate,
And the more I show this foreign concept if an intimate relationship,
The more I fall in love,
The more I fall into your trap of smiles and fingers running through my hair,
The more I crave your kisses, your touch,
What happened to me?
I once thought I knew about love,
A mystic, mysterious trance
I always thought when one was in love,
there was nothing but romance
I thought love could never hurt you,
and would always make you strong.
But after I fell in love with you
All I thought was wrong
I thought you would always be there
anytime I was in need
But you only needed me
when you needed a deed
I waited for your calls, your texts, your snaps
But night after night after night after night
All I felt was rejection
I did all I could think of,
to make you see how I felt
I did everything you asked of me,
I played the cards I was dealt
I thought that things would change
When that test showed up as a plus
But all you did was encourage me
to do what a woman must
I thought you would have compassion,
a sense of how I felt.
But you broke up with me three weeks later
and that left the biggest welt
I thought all these things about love
were true and lovely and pure
But you took all I thought about love and
prevented me from moving forward
Now I think that love is dead and
I am not worth the time
For anyone else to be with me,
I took your actions as a sign
I thought you were the one
I would spend the rest of my life with
I think that all I thought once
is a memory I will truly miss.
Since this is the way
it’s going to be,
I’ll sum it all up
Where do I even start
explaining the way I feel?
I just keep telling myself:
this can’t be happening, this isn’t real.
In my heart it seems
there is a sudden void.
You built me up, only to break me down;
now everything appears destroyed.
My life’s orbit has suddenly stopped-
where do I go from here?
I guess this just goes to show,
things aren’t always as they appear.
Only now do I realize what I put up with,
everything I had to endure.
Only now do I really contemplate,
on what we truly were.
I’m not here to make you feel guilty,
nor will I ever be.
Just know, I will always remember,
the ‘old’ you and me.
Have you ever noticed, how often the challenges we face also contains a blessing in disguise? If not, you haven’t been looking closely enough. Granted life’s challenges usually seem like inconveniences when they interrupt our schedules, or get in the way of something we want to do. Isn’t that the reason we call them challenges?
If we start by asking ourselves, “What can I learn from this experience?” it will immediately put a more positive spin on the situation. It allows us to discover something worth appreciating about our experience. It makes us recognize the values that might have gone unnoticed and makes us see the opportunities and possibilities instead of inconveniences.
We can use challenging situations to unlock our untapped strengths and abilities. Each time we do this it will increase our confidence until we began to see life’s challenges as opportunities to harness our personal power to an even greater degree.
Everything changes when we learn to see life’s challenges in a whole new light.